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Showing posts from October, 2021

Part Four: Dealing With Rejection

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Having read part one to three of REJECTOBER, it's clear enough that rejection is normal and happens to everyone.  Since you can't avoid it, it's safer to deal with it and know how to cope when faced with it. How to deal with it; Acknowledge that you've been rejected, accept and allow yourself to feel the way you do. Pretending it isn't affecting you or trying to brush off the hurt won't help. Having self love and self worth will act as your "backbone" when dealing with Rejection. When you know who you are and you've positively affirmed yourself, you'll never feel the need to be accepted by people.  Give you time and work on you. It's not because of you! No self blame or trying to act better. If they fail to see what you offer, move on and someone else or something more worth it will find you. Take your time. Healing is a process and the pain of Rejection won't just go immediately. Give you

Part Three: Why We Get Obsessed With People Who Reject Us.

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Ever thought why your mind gets preoccupied and filled with thoughts about someone who rejected you. It's like the more they say no, the greater the need for more and more of them or things associated with them. After you've been rejected, you always feel the need to prove the other person wrong. You want to show them how good you are and that them rejecting you was a big mistake. Psychologically, it's explained to be as a result of the rejection triggering the part of the human brain that's associated with reward, motivation, addiction and cravings. It gets harder to accept rejection because you don't want to feel like you are worth being rejected. This leaves you calculating and finding ways to show the other person your great side just to try make them take back their "no". In this case, it's not the person that you want but the 'feeling' or the 'point' that comes out of knowing that they want us. This greatly explains wh

Part two: LOVE REJECTION!!

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I don't love you, I don't think this is going to work, I love someone else, I just see you as a good friend. Such statements are almost like death announcements. Someone you've admired, crushed on and felt strongly attracted to, to the point where you feel they are that one piece that has been missing in your life. Only to get a response that places you in a completely different lane and leaves you feeling so undesirable.  Love Rejection hurts and the worst part is that there's nothing you can do to change the other person's point of view. The worst thing to do to yourself is turning the blame on you by questioning your personality,physical appearance and lifestyle which greatly damages your self esteem. Bitter truth : They won't love you the same way or as you want them to so start getting over it!  How to deal with it: 1. It's not your fault:  One important thing to note is that  being rejected has nothing to do with you. There are a lot of re

Part one: THE FEAR!

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We all know the feeling. Being pushed away, unwanted, unaccepted or being told 'no' when we've held high expectations of the people, situations and relationships in our lives. One thing we can all agree is that rejection hurts and disturbs but the way we handle it differs from person to person. Due to the past experiences, we tend to develop the fear of being rejected and find ways to avoid the encounter because after all, who would want to be rejected? But what we don't realize is that the fear draws rejection even closer to us. By trying to avoid rejection , we develop behaviors that we believe will keep us on the safer side.  The fear comes in when we feel inadequate, different from the majority or the 'normal' or even when we have developed our own scenes of how things should go. Not recognizing that things, people and situations turn out different, we then try our best to fit into them so that it can turn out to be a perf

REJECTOBER

Rejectober  is the combination of Rejection and October.    Its the month of October and we will be covering REJECTION  in four parts for the four weeks in this month. This is mainly to create awareness of Rejection and how to cope with being or feeling rejected and the pain caused by rejection.  Don't miss !!!