Simply It

We're always reminding ourselves to be deliberate and purposeful in all we do for better results, striving to achieve the best in our day to day activities that contribute to what and how our future will be. Being Intentional is always the key.   One part of our human life however, seems to receive the lesser amount of our 'being Intentional'  and it sometimes gives us results that we never wished for. We tend to start relationships based on the feelings and energies we receive forgetting the 'Intentional' part of it all. While we focus on satisfying our social belonging and affection needs, we forget to think of what we want to achieve in the end. When the feelings start to fade and the energies no longer match or excite, what will be left to hold on to? Many friendships and romantic relationships we form lack a clear destination and purpose that gives us the motivation to keep investing and working towards the end goal. Our long lasting relationships, ...

Slow down, I can't keep up with the pace. Atleast that's one thing I'm certain i wasn't blessed with, but don't wish to have.  A conversation is what they call it but this one can't be categorized as one. As voices rise, tone sharpened and choice of words disregarded, i lack something to say. Not because I'm weak, but my emotions make me helpless. My heart is beating fast, my mind baffled by the false assertions, my mouth is speaking but my message is not being heard. You've let your assumptions amass and now its time to project them. Louder and louder you go, your face looks different, your tone i can relate to because I'm not new to this and it's not something to brag about. But until when?  I build my inner self, each day i work hard under the scorching sun to fence what i call my own. Then i encounter you once, and all is down until i discovered a long lasting building material. But now, my roof is leaking. Your words have eroded ...

As Cynthia Ozick said; two things remain irretrievable: time and a first impression. While putting this into consideration when meeting new people or pursuing new projects, I find this applicable when facing each dawn. Practicing healthy habits to attain better physical and mental health in order to thrive in each situation or event entails approaching each day with an incredible first impression. Therefore, having a personalized morning routine that fits my schedule and preferences sets the momentum for the day. Pre-morning prep Morning anxiety is something many people battle with and it takes a toll on one’s emotions and attitude they’ll carry through most part of the day. To avoid this, I developed a pre-morning preparation routine that ensures everything is in order, from my thoughts, attitude, schedules, deadlines, plans, and agendas before I take my beauty sleep.  Having a to-do list or a notebook where I list all my pending and planned activities for ...

We're in a world full of different kinds of sounds and voices, from the music, movies, TikTok sounds, threads, streaks and ongoing conversations, some of which we are not invited to but still choose to dedicate our senses to them. Then there's the inner us that's always trying to get our attention to the point it screams at us using our feelings, intuition, heartbeat but we still choose to seek a second opinion. 'Trust issues' as many may call it, something we attribute to our previous misfortunes and encounters with others, and so we end up diving into a series of healing so that we can trust others when we have ourselves all along. We trust them to give us a good time as we hang out with them, we trust them not to fail us in a project we are working on, we trust them to love us unconditionally and constantly show up for us when we need them but can we trust ourselves enough to listen to the inner us in each time you expect others to be there or when you think you ...

One time I woke up to one of the very bright and promising Thursdays, free from the necessary responsibilities ready to self-reflect and sink deep into my aura.  A thought crosses my mind and I begin to wonder why life can't give anything for free, must we always have to work or pay to get something good or helpful? All this being triggered by the fact that i having to shop for groceries that day. As I'm shopping, I decide to buy myself a watermelon to try brighten my day and just as I'm about to leave, the vendor calls me back to give me an extra watermelon. Walking back home with the two watermelons in my bag I realize I just got another free chance to better my health and body with the extra watermelon. That watermelon reminded me of the little things that we fail to recognize as we focus on seeing the 'bigger' achievements or gifts.  Sometimes you have everything you need a your disposal but when the one thing you desire fails to come your way, you f...

'Take a break' the title and topic of my last blog before I decided to follow my own advice, and honestly what I thought was a break became my disconnection. Each day I tried reconnecting but always ended up with an excuse of feeling like I needed an extra break. So here I am wondering, how do I reconnect? Though detachment may be necessary at some point in life especially when it's the only way for you to focus on other important things, what do you do when you've disconnected from the important thing or person in your life? As I've struggled each week in the drafts section of the blogging app trying to write something but just felt like I no longer belong here, I came to a realization that I had to reconnect with myself and my emotions first so as to get my purpose. Finding yourself makes your purpose clear and easens the decision making which enable you to make good choices about your life, plans, relationships and goals. Whether you feel disconnected...

There's a great link between your money and mental health. Considering the importance of both in your life, your mental health state affects your finances and finances affects your mental health state. HOW FINANCES AFFECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH Many cases of anxiety and depression stem from money problems due to the rising stress levels.  When making ends meet becomes close to impossible and your lifestyle starts changing due to lack of money, worries and stress gets triggered resulting to sleep problems. Fear of isolation and feelings of loneliness may also kick in when your relationships start getting affected due to the changing lifestyle as a result of lack of money. There are different feelings associated with money such as; ✓Feeling ashamed to ask for financial support from others. ✓   Fear of looking at your bank statements or talking to your money lenders. ✓Guilt for seeking support or spending money that you can't afford. ✓Stress due to the pressure of wanting...

There are times in my life when situations and things in life become too much, to the point where I can't even recall how feeling normal feels. Trying to deal with everything as it comes all at once from the feelings, to the responsibilities and the roles one has to play.  Under these circumstances, we work giving what we think is right at the moment just to be done with that phase or the feelings it comes with. But just like we need study breaks or pauses while we're watching stuff is the same way in life situations, we need to pause. When emotions and thoughts become too overwhelming and you have no inspiration or motivation to do things better, the pause button is a great option. Pausing is basically taking a break from all that is happening mentally and emotionally to allow yourself to function better and make good moves.  When pausing, take time to reflect on everything that's going on, think of where you are at the moment, where you want to be, what brough...

Happy 2022!! It's been an amazing journey for last 7 months since the very first post on Simply It. There's been a great growth  from the comments to the views of each blog and I'm so grateful for it wouldn't be possible without you.  Thankyou! Looking forward to more posts this year, much more amazing content and consistency. Have yourself a happy new year with lots of positivity, happiness, love and accomplished resolutions.

What has 2021 taught you or emphasized in your life? Every year has its own challenges and breakthroughs which leaves us with experiences and lessons learned, and these are some of the major things that sunk into my life this year, from the various encounters I've had. You can also share some of your great lessons this year at the comment section below. 1. Feeling ready  or not, just do it . I had the thought of starting a blog in March this year but always felt like I'm not ready enough to start putting it out there. I used to blog and save it for myself so no one knew it existed until June, which was when started sharing my posts after listening to a certain episode of a podcast and asked myself "what's the worst that could happen?" And here we are, with various posts which  probably wouldn't be possible if I continued waiting to feel ready enough. Be brave, take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.  - Paulo Coelho - 2. Everythin...

It feels important, but is it worth holding on to? When we have no power to control it, change it or curve it to how we desire but still, we choose to hold on to it hoping that some day it will turn out as we expect it. "Let me be optimistic" so we tell ourselves for we always heard from the motivational speakers that it is an essential key to achieving our goals because it boosts our courage as we choose to try see an opportunity in every difficulty presented to us. Sometimes we're forced to let go of things or people we really hold dear and we're left struggling to let go of the pain, regrets, wishes and the 'what if' that comes after. We have no control over most of these situations but letting go of them will stop them from controlling us. When we talk of letting go, it's all about the simple to the major things in your life. It could be your work, career, relationship, friends, grief and so much more. HOW TO KNOW WHEN TO LET GO...

Having read part one to three of REJECTOBER, it's clear enough that rejection is normal and happens to everyone.  Since you can't avoid it, it's safer to deal with it and know how to cope when faced with it. How to deal with it; Acknowledge that you've been rejected, accept and allow yourself to feel the way you do. Pretending it isn't affecting you or trying to brush off the hurt won't help. Having self love and self worth will act as your "backbone" when dealing with Rejection. When you know who you are and you've positively affirmed yourself, you'll never feel the need to be accepted by people.  Give you time and work on you. It's not because of you! No self blame or trying to act better. If they fail to see what you offer, move on and someone else or something more worth it will find you. Take your time. Healing is a process and the pain of Rejection won't just go immediately. Give you...

Ever thought why your mind gets preoccupied and filled with thoughts about someone who rejected you. It's like the more they say no, the greater the need for more and more of them or things associated with them. After you've been rejected, you always feel the need to prove the other person wrong. You want to show them how good you are and that them rejecting you was a big mistake. Psychologically, it's explained to be as a result of the rejection triggering the part of the human brain that's associated with reward, motivation, addiction and cravings. It gets harder to accept rejection because you don't want to feel like you are worth being rejected. This leaves you calculating and finding ways to show the other person your great side just to try make them take back their "no". In this case, it's not the person that you want but the 'feeling' or the 'point' that comes out of knowing that they want us. This greatly explains wh...

I don't love you, I don't think this is going to work, I love someone else, I just see you as a good friend. Such statements are almost like death announcements. Someone you've admired, crushed on and felt strongly attracted to, to the point where you feel they are that one piece that has been missing in your life. Only to get a response that places you in a completely different lane and leaves you feeling so undesirable.  Love Rejection hurts and the worst part is that there's nothing you can do to change the other person's point of view. The worst thing to do to yourself is turning the blame on you by questioning your personality,physical appearance and lifestyle which greatly damages your self esteem. Bitter truth : They won't love you the same way or as you want them to so start getting over it!  How to deal with it: 1. It's not your fault:  One important thing to note is that  being rejected has nothing to do with you. There are a lot of re...

We all know the feeling. Being pushed away, unwanted, unaccepted or being told 'no' when we've held high expectations of the people, situations and relationships in our lives. One thing we can all agree is that rejection hurts and disturbs but the way we handle it differs from person to person. Due to the past experiences, we tend to develop the fear of being rejected and find ways to avoid the encounter because after all, who would want to be rejected? But what we don't realize is that the fear draws rejection even closer to us. By trying to avoid rejection , we develop behaviors that we believe will keep us on the safer side.  The fear comes in when we feel inadequate, different from the majority or the 'normal' or even when we have developed our own scenes of how things should go. Not recognizing that things, people and situations turn out different, we then try our best to fit into them so that it can turn out to be a perf...

Rejectober  is the combination of Rejection and October.    Its the month of October and we will be covering REJECTION  in four parts for the four weeks in this month. This is mainly to create awareness of Rejection and how to cope with being or feeling rejected and the pain caused by rejection.  Don't miss !!!

It's the start of another week and beginnings might be tough sometimes so below are things I do that keep me motivated, peaceful and in a great vibe. 1. Say a prayer Conversations with God are really exciting for me. I always feel a whole load shift off my life and it really gets me to a point of balance whereby, I'm able to cope and stay sane in all situations. And the best part of it is that we can talk anywhere, anytime for free. 2. Declutter Get rid of the unnecessary or excess loads of previous experiences because all they do is just eat up your energy and time that could be invested in other great things. 3. Music This is always like therapy to me. Great music is soothing and really lightens up my mood everytime. 4. Good food Not just food but good food.  This doesn't even require any explanation. Good food is just unmatched. Period!! 5. Mind your own business! If it doesn't concern you, if it's not w...

I've always questioned the types of friends and friendships going on in my life. Like sometimes I know someone and we really vibe then slowly or suddenly there's no connection between us. So this prompted me to just randomly do a research on the types of friendships people encounter in life and the ' Seasonal, reason and lifetime' description is what made sense to me. Here's what it entails;     1. Friends for a season We all have seasons in life eg joining a new school, starting a new job, shifting to a different environment etc. In all these transitions, you meet a person/people you grow with, learn and explore together then when you 'wrap up' and move to the next level, the friendship no longer feels the same as things start changing from the energies, priorities and also time spent together. These are the seasonal friends and a good example is the number of friends you had in your earlier stages in life vs now as you advance. Your priorities changed,...

Most of us have been through this, some are actually on this. I can boldly confess I've tried fitting in so many times while growing up. Some worked, some were fatal but it was what it was. So on today's blog I'll be discussing fitting in. Let's first understand what fitting in is: This is where you attempt and do things to get accepted but absolutely not for who you are. Why? Sometimes it's probably because we tend to feel or perceive other people's lifestyles, standards, personalities, words, behavior etc to being better or superior than ours. In turn, we start conforming to the "cool" that we think is best. Judging from experience, being successful in fitting in is a sweet feeling that slowly eats our inside. Our self esteem, beliefs, values, standards and personal rules get broken and put aside to prioritize another person's. The consequences to this are clear and most of them have been highlighted in my previous blogs. You no longe...

This is one thing that I noticed is easier said than done. I always tell myself "I love you" and all the positive affirmations but the actions to prove this aren't that much. Check;  How to know whether you truly love yourself We tend to neglect many things and feelings that we need to prioritize. Sacrificing our self love to fit into other people's 'good books', standards, life, opinions and so many other things forgetting to put ourselves as the first priority. Its important to start investing in ourselves, putting time and effort to get into conversations with ourselves so as to understand and fall deeper in love with who we are. The same things we do as we try to love someone is the same procedure to act on, with yourself. For guides click;  How to love yourself At some point, actualizing self love tends to feel or look selfish and this makes it even harder to accomplish. But this ain't so. Putting you first is important because...